Sunday, January 5, 2014
Stuff for my Fantasy Life
Several months ago I gave up my habit of continuous online window-shopping. I blocked my favorite fashion and interior design stores from my browser, and stopped reading most lifestyle blogs. For a while I fought the feeling that I was missing out, and that I needed to go shopping. But since then, the urges have subsided and I think about shopping much less than I used to, although I still miss it.
Like many addicts, once I had gotten the stuff out of my system, I decided to go back because "I can handle it now." Today I visited one of my temptation websites, Modcloth. As I browsed through the pages of shiny clothing and accessories, I was very aware of the discontent I started feeling.
I craved this lifestyle Modcloth was selling - that of a cute young woman living in a city, dressing up for gallery openings and book signings, wearing colorful outfits in her creative office, sitting down to gourmet drinks and pastries at a rustic cafe, living in a charming apartment with colorful decor. A Pinterest-perfect life.
I see now that I have been buying things in an attempt to make my life look like that fantasy. But the fact is, my husband and I are short on money, so we're currently living a life very unlike my Instagram-tinted ideal. I hope that someday I can have a life somewhat resembling those dreams, but for now, shopping at certain websites and reading certain blogs only makes me miserable and envious.
The shopping ban continues, then.